The Morning Routine

Avoiding Morning Melt-downs, by Dr. Brad Schwall 

On my kids' first day of school, I decided to make a nutritious and delicious breakfast of scrambled eggs, biscuits, bacon, and orange juice to help get their first day off to an energy-boosting start.  I was so proud of myself.

They didn't eat a bite.  

They said they didn't feel like eating a big breakfast - nerves.  Should I have been mad at them?  Should I have not let them eat anything else and go to school hungry?  Finding solutions to morning routine challenges that include positive attitudes, calmness, consistency, and preparedness can help make your morning mad rush less mad.

Problem:  Being Rushed

The time it takes to choose outfits, eat breakfast, brush teeth, make lunch, and gather homework all adds up.

Solution:  Plan Ahead

Get clothes, lunch, and homework together the night before.  Doing whatever can be done the night before saves time and stress in the morning.

Problem:  Indecision About Clothes and Breakfast

"I don't want to wear that!"  "I don't want anything for breakfast!"  Arguing about clothes and breakfast creates stress.

Solution:  Limit Choices

Choose clothes the night before and give a limited number of clothing choices to make the decision easier.  Make plans for breakfast the night before, and allow your child to choose from a couple of options.  Limit choices, but giving your child choices creates a sense of control that can help avoid power struggles.

If your child still complains about breakfast or clothes, stick to the plan, but stay calm.  Choose your battles.  If your child has a reasonable request for a change in plans, consider it and be flexible.  Being inconsistent can cause problems, but compromising can be just the thing needed to avoid a morning meltdown.

Problem:  Misplaced Homework and Shoes

Looking for lost items can be one of the most frustrating experiences, especially at the last minute.

Solution:  Designate a Place for Important Items

Get homework together the night before and put it in your child's backpack in a place that will make it hard to forget it.  Keep the backpack in the same place every day.  Have a routine for placing homework where it needs to go so it won't be forgotten.  Put shoes where they belong right when they're taken off or soon after.

Problem:  Nagging

"Have you brushed your teeth yet?"  Do you find yourself repeating directions over and over?  Using too many words can lead kids to tune out.

Solution:  Make Expectations Clear 

List specifically what your child needs to do and the order in which it needs to be done.  Make your expectations reasonable for the age of your child.  Choose your battles.  You may gradually give more responsibilities for taking care of tasks on his or her own.

It is OK to prompt your child to complete the next task.  Helping your child follow the routine helps her or him learn the routine.  As your child remembers the routine, you can step back.  It is less stressful and more helpful to give guidance and encourage success rather than to sit back, have unrealistic expectations, and look for failure.

Stay calm.  Don't get frustrated too easily.  Be prepared.  Have a good morning.