5 Discipline Mistakes: Dr. Brad's Tips and Channel 8 Interview

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Discipline Mistakes, by Dr. Brad Schwall

Adults often miss the purpose of discipline by focusing only on punishment for misbehavior rather than teaching positive behavior.

Mistake 1: Focusing only on the negative

Discipline plans often include rules focused on what children shouldn’t do. When you only focus on what the child should not do, he or she never learns what to do.

Do this instead: Focus on what you want the child to do

Make rules that specifically describe the behavior you expect. When dealing with misbehavior, decide what you want the child to do instead and help the child develop that positive behavior. Respond to misbehavior by telling the child specifically what you want him or her to do.

Mistake 2: Focusing only on the punishment

Kids may be motivated to make a good choice to avoid a negative consequence, but understanding the positive consequences and intrinsic value of making good choices help children make good choices on their own.

Do this instead: Enforce negative and positive consequences

Children do need to be allowed to experience the negative consequences of bad choices, but focus also on the benefits of making good choices by affirming positive behavior and emphasizing the benefits of making good choices.

Mistake 3: Being reactive rather than proactive

It is easier to prevent problems than to fix problems once they have developed.

Do this instead: Make expectations clear

Give specific directions before problems develop.

Mistake 4: Making empty threats and bribing

Threatening consequences you don’t enforce or promising rewards you don’t provide causes children to ignore your discipline efforts.

Do this instead: Be direct

Set consequences before problems occur. Choose your battles and follow through with the consequences and rewards you establish.

Mistake 5: Being inconsistent

Allowing children to do certain behaviors some times and then deciding to be strict at other times sends a message that children can test the limits.

Do this instead: Be consistent

Make expectations clear, show the child how to behave, and positively reinforce those behaviors.