

		Subscribe to receive the Cool Kids curriculum for schools and families: Tips for Parents These e-tips may be used in communications to parents. Include Dr. Brad Schwall's name and the Cool Kids website, www.coolkidschannel.com. Click here for a Word document of these tips for re-printing >> For more tips for parents or to subscribe to Cool Kids E-tips, click here >> Dr. Brad on TV Dr. Brad Schwall appears every other Sunday on Dallas/Fort Worth's ABC affiliate, WFAA-TV, Channel 8, offering tips on parenting and familiy life. His next appearance: Sunday, February 17, 8:15 a.m. His topic: Talking About Sexuality to Kids

Who's Watching Our Kids? by Dr. Brad Schwall

Through my experiences as a counselor and parent, a common denominator of good parenting is coming to the surface:

SUPERVISION

Supervise means to observe and direct - to be involved, know what's happening in our kids' lives, and give guidance. Our kids' freedom and independence increases as they grow older, but that does not mean that the level of supervision should decrease.

Supervision Through the Years

Supervision happens through talking, listening, modeling, and reflecting. The goal is to prevent problems and teach our kids how to make good choices.

Here are a few examples of supervision at different developmental stages.

Babies

Change diapers
Feed
Hold
Smile
Protect from physical dangers
Change diapers

Toddlers and Preschoolers

Stay nearby at play groups to re-direct behavior when needed
Show how to behave at birthday parties
Don't allow them to run wild when calm behavior is expected - provide appropriate alternatives
Give clear directions saying what you want rather than what you don't want

Elementary-Age Children

Talk about appropriate behavior at school
Help develop good homework habits
Constantly talk about treating others with respect
Talk about choices and consequences
Show how to behave at plays, concerts, sports events, assemblies and restaurants

Pre-teens

Do not grant all freedoms too soon
Provide safe, supervised places and activities for socializing
Emphasize the difference between striving to be well-liked and respected and compromising values to be “popular”
Talk about sex and appropriate ways of treating and relating with the opposite sex
Talk about the consequences of under-age substance use and the causes and consequences of substance abuse and dependence
Talk about how to handle peer pressure
Stay connected

Teens

Know what's going on
Establish clear, age-appropriate rules and consequences
Listen
Continue discussions about sex and substance abuse
Balance freedom and structure

Supervision is proactive. Supervision is a dance of stepping in to guide and stepping back to allow our kids to make choices on their own. In order to give good supervision, we must have a good relationship with our kids. We cannot shield our kids from all negative influences, but we can teach them discernment. We won't be perfect and our kids won't be perfect, but if we are actively involved in guiding their behavior, we will make up for our mistakes and be there to re-direct when needed. Let's watch our kids.

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