South Pacific: Talking to Children About War and Prejudice, by Dr. Brad Schwall, www.coolkidschannel.com

For an end of the holiday season treat, my family and I went to see the Lincoln Center Theater production of Rodgers and Hammerstein's South Pacific at the AT&T Performing Arts Center in Dallas.  My son Sam is 12, and my daughter Grace is eight.  Though South Pacific is not necessarily geared toward children, we knew they would enjoy a night out hearing live music, watching experienced actors, and taking in the magnificent architecture of the Winspear Opera House and the creative set design.  In the end, we received some good talking points to discuss with our children.

To prepare for attending the musical, we watched the movie.  Two issues struck me as important conversation topics with my children.  The musical developed these issues further than the movie.

Talking to Children About War

The musical, which was originally produced in 1949 based on James Michener's Tales of the South Pacific, addresses issues faced by military personnel.  These issues are similar to those faced by military personnel today though the time period and locations of the wars are different.  Both Lieutenant Joseph Cable and Ensign Nellie Forbush, a nurse, find themselves in a place vastly different from their own homes.  Their experiences cause them to reflect on their purpose and plans for their lives.  My daughter enjoyed the adventurous lure of Bali Ha'I and the romance of the song "Some Enchanted Evening."  We talked about the fact that we are sometimes sad or confused even though our surroundings may be pleasurable.  We often want to escape the real world for a place where troubles seem not to exist.  Being involved in a war complicates life for those involved.  Homesickness is not reserved for children at camp.  Members of the armed forces face culture shock.

Men and women in the military also face grief.  Lt. Cable is killed on his mission behind enemy lines to scout Japanese military movements while Emile de Becque, the civilian from France assisting him on the mission survives.  Cable's cohorts and de Becque are left with the grief over his loss and perhaps guilt that they survived.  The death of military personnel impacts not only their own families, but their military families.  Life and death are inseparable, but war accelerates that issue in the lives of people who are involved in war. 

It is important that our children understand that the military today makes great sacrifices and faces emotional challenges in their service to our country.  We are making history now, and our children need to understand the personal and historical implications of what is happening in our world.  Soldiers face culture shock, change in perspective on life, trauma, and grief.  Helping our children have empathy for these struggles teaches them to have a personal and caring understanding of current events.  I often protect my children from tragedy in the news, but I feel a responsibility to share in an age-appropriate but realistic way about troubles in our world.

Kid Conversation Starters: Questions for Talking with Children About War

• What sacrifices do people in the military make?
• How do you think it is different to be working in another country?
• How do you think children of people in the military feel when their parents are away for long periods of time?
• How do you think people in the military feel when someone they know dies in service?
• What challenges do you think people face when they come back home after serving in another country?

Talking to Children About Prejudice

Nellie Forbush falls in love with de Becque.  She feels tension over this because she believes her mother expects her to marry someone from her own town of Little Rock, Arkansas.  She cannot imagine acceptance by her community for marrying someone from a different country with such a different background.  This struggle with cultural difference becomes even more pronounced and racially charged when she discovers that he has two children with his now deceased wife who was from a different culture.  She is upset because she knows that her family will definitely not accept this fact.

Cable also struggles with interracial relations when he falls in love with Liat, a Tonganese.  His distance from his home near Philadelphia leads him to forget about his home and his fiancé.  He imagines what would happen if he married Liat picturing a housewarming party for he and Liat in his home-town that no neighbor, friend, or family member would attend because of their disapproval od the fact that the couple was from different races.  My wife actually pointed out that the main challenge that Liat and Cable would face would be the fact that the two did not know each other.  Healthy relationships do require time to nurture and grow.  We will give Rodgers and Hammerstein "romantic license" and grant that the two do have a magical attraction to each other and that their romance is a means to illustrate the themes of the story.

This production covered issues of race even before the civil rights movement had begun full force, yet our society still faces issues of race.  My son was struck by the song, "You've Got to Be Carefully Taught" which emphasizes that people are taught to hate rather than by developing prejudice instinctually.  Sam recognized that kids are impressionable and that parents and adults can have both a negative as well as a positive impact on their children's values and beliefs. The musical emphasizes that society causes prejudice.  Parents, teachers, and guardians, can "carefully" teach children to accept and respect differences to counter the influences that lead to ignorance about and mistrust of people from different cultures.  I am motivated to be more aware of the issue of race in my conversations with my children and will look for teachable moments to encourage a positive view of culture and race.

Kid Conversation Starters: Questions for Talking with Children About Prejudice

• What do you think "prejudice" means?
• In what ways do you observe racial prejudice at your school?
• How are people influenced to be prejudiced?  What leads to prejudice?
• What makes different cultures different from each other?
• In what ways are all humans alike?
• In what ways can you respect difference in culture, interests, and backgrounds at your school?