5 Things Dads Can Learn from “Mary Poppins,” by Dr. Brad Schwall, www.coolkidschannel.com

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I went to see “Mary Poppins” the musical with my family.   Certain aspects of the characters are more developed in the musical than in the movie, including George Banks, a busy banker and the father of Jane and Michael Banks.  We see more examples of the disconnection between his children, wife, and him, we learn about the factors that have influenced him to be aloof from his family, and we witness more of his transformation.  Dads can learn from “Mary Poppins” and George Banks.

1.  Children are not accessories

George sees it as the nanny’s job to discipline the children and rear them.  He expects the mother to manage the household and the nanny to keep the children out of his business.  The ideal family for George is adult-centered.  The children are to be managed and are to grow on their own without involvement from him. Adult-centered families believe that children just grow on their own without need for guidance, supervision, and focused attention.  They center everything around the activities of the adults in the household.  Child-centered families see their primary role as guiding and nurturing the children.  They see a need for focusing on their adult lives in order to maintain their own well-being and the health of their adult relationships, but they have a direct and consistent role in their children’s lives.

Children need direction, the purpose of discipline is to teach children how to behave, and fathers can be directly and consistently involved in these tasks without delegating or deferring them to others.

2.  Discipline is more about relationship than rules

In the musical, we see more of the children’s undesirable behaviors which also highlights the ineffective techniques that the adults use to try to get the children to behave.  The reason why the mean nanny and George are ineffective in their discipline is because they do not create a connection that shows the children how to behave and gives them motivation to behave.  Mary Poppins builds a relationship with the children and uses a “spoonful of sugar” in engaging cooperation.  Is a “spoonful of sugar” a bribe to get children to behave?  Is it a sellout of authority?  A “spoonful of sugar” represents that completing tasks or guiding the behavior of children do not have to be done with a bad attitude or hostility. 

Cooperation requires connection.  You get what you give.  If you give disrespect, you’ll get disrespect.  If you expect children to misbehave, they will misbehave.  Give respect and provide guidance and your children will learn how to behave.

3.  Respect your wives for all that they are

In the musical, Winifred Banks used to be an actor.  In the movie, she is involved in the women’s suffrage movement.  Wives have more to their lives than just their children.  George is confronted with his limited view of his wide's role.  By accepting and respecting all of the interests and qualities of our wives, we enhance our relationship with them, provide a positive example for our children, and we validate them.

4.  There are more important things in life than making money

When George finally makes his transformation, he states, “There are more important things in life than making money.”  George sees making money as his job.  Being a dad is the main job of dads.  Money is only one means for supporting one’s family. 

Without emotional support, children go without support and encouragement that build character and values.

George also learns that character is essential in successful business.  George decides to give a loan to one businessman and decline a loan to another businessman based on their character.  He is called into the bank and fears that he has made a bad loan.  Instead, the business of the man he denied failed and the loan he provided was financially successful and lucrative.

Business can be done with character.

5.  Change is possible and it is never too late to re-connect with your family

When confronted with his avoidance of his children and his lack of relationship with them, George explains that his nanny was directed to keep him out of his dad’s way.  He reminisces that children never spoke disrespectfully, but that close relationships with children were also not developed.

George begins to remember his childhood and his interests and imagination.  He finally answers a question that Michael had asked him earlier in the musical.  Your children’s questions are attempts at closeness.  Answer your children. 

The musical ends with the four as a family claiming they do not have a need for a nanny.  Upbringing is not an excuse for continued patterns of negative behavior.

Be a family.  Take away all that distracts, such as busy schedules, work, bad habits, and emotional distance, and connect with your family.  Your children, and you, will be better for it.  Impress your kids.  Show them you know how to spell “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”  Be with your kids.  Take them to “go fly a kite.”

Permission granted for re-distribution courtesy Cool Kids curriculum for schools.  Dr. Brad Schwall, www.coolkidschannel.com