Negative VS Positive Discipline, by Dr. Brad Schwall

Negative discipline is unclear, indirect, and discouraging.  Positive discipline is clear, direct, and motivating.  The goal of discipline is to teach children how to behave rather than control behavior through fear and shame.

Negative: Saying What Not to Do VS Positive: Saying What to Do

Only telling a child what not to do does not do enough to make expectations clear.

Tell the child exactly what you would like him or her to do.  Making expectations clear is more direct.

Negative: Speaking negatively about a child in front of her or him VS Positive: Speaking positively about a child in front of her or him

Children are discouraged by criticism in front of others and being critical models disrespectful behavior.  Sarcasm about children’s behavior is very discouraging and inappropriate.

Complimenting children in front of others is encouraging and helps others think positively about the child.

Negative: Pointing out only what the child did wrong VS Positive: Pointing out what the child did right

Emphasizing only what the child did wrong does not help the child learn what to do.  Explain clearly and specifically the behavior that was inappropriate, and then explain what the child needs to do differently in the future.

Emphasizing specific positive behaviors helps the child learn what to do and giving clear directions on how to do the right thing makes your expectations clear.

Negative: Saying “No” VS Positive: Saying “Yes”

Telling a young child “no” repeatedly does not communicate what the child can or needs to do and the child may begin to tune out the word when it is used too often.  Instead of saying only “no” to splashing water out of the bath-tub, say, “Keep the water in the bath-tub.”