5 Ways to Take Away a Bully's Power, by Dr. Brad Schwall

Bullies bully to get a reaction.  Reactions reward bullies with a sense of power over the feelings, thoughts, and actions of others.  Even friends can sometimes treat each other in controlling, rude ways.

Children can deal with bully behavior by taking away the bully's power - not allowing the bully to affect the way he or she thinks, feels, or acts. 

Parents, counselors, and teachers can encourage children to use these bully-power-sapping strategies.

1.  Ignore bullying

• Encourage children to avoid reacting in frustration to bullies
• Help children brainstorm responses to bullies

2.  Be confident

• Affirm children and help them learn how to think positive thoughts about themselves
• Confidence keeps children from letting the words and actions of others affect they way they feel and think about themselves

3.  Build good friendships

• Guide children to develop skills for building good friendships
• Help children connect with their peers in the classroom and out of the classroom
• Isolated children make easier targets for bullies
• Friendship skills can even help bullies stop bullying - bullies often act meanly because they do not know how to interact positively with others

4.  Don't stoop to the bully's level

• Retaliation leads children to make bad choices and face consequences
• Children can stand up for themselves and be strong without trying to retaliate - guide children to speak firmly to bullies and to talk to adults about problems with bullies

5.  Give respect

• Teach children how to give respect - it is not enough just to tell children not to bully, we must teach them what to do instead
• Affirm and reward children when they give respect - creating a respectful environment limits the effect of bullies
  
• Do not model bullying behaviors
  

Give power to children who give respect and take away the power of bullies.

 2008 Cool Communications LLC, Dr. Brad Schwall, www.coolkidschannel.com