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Cool Kids Lesson Subscriptions for Schools and Families Schools: receive character building guidance lesson kits that include video, activities, role-play starters, and lesson plans. Parents: watch and talk about Cool Kids TV episodes with your kids. Click below for more info: Dr. Brad on TV Dr. Brad Schwall appears every other Sunday on Dallas/Fort Worth's ABC affiliate, WFAA-TV, Channel 8, offering tips on parenting and familiy life. His next appearance:
Sunday, November 11, 8:15 a.m. His topic: Teaching Children How to Handle Anger These e-tips may be used in communications to parents. Include Dr. Brad Schwall's name and the Cool Kids website, www.coolkidschannel.com. For more tips for parents, click here >> To subscribe to the free Cool Kids E-tips for parents, click here >>
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Anger Issues, by Dr. Brad Schwall
The other day, I was changing a florescent light bulb in my closet – a very difficult task for me. Florescent light bulbs are the bane of my existence. It seems that I began to emote because my six-year-old daughter reminded me that I had written the Cool Rules for Cool Kids. She told me, “Just Stay Cool Daddy.”Since our kids learn more from what we do than what we say, let's talk about how all of us, parents and kids, can deal with everyday frustrations and anger.
The first two steps of the Cool Rule for dealing with strong feelings, "Stay Cool," are to stop and get calm and think about how we feel. The final step is to choose to either talk, work it out, or drop it. When you or your kids are frustrated, try one or a combination of these strategies.
Talk
When people keep their anger in, they may seem perpetually angry, cynical, or annoyed to others. It is not pleasant to be with people who are always critical or negative. Anger turned inward can also lead to other side effects, such as high blood pressure or depression.- Talk calmly.
- Describe what you feel talking about your own experience rather than blaming or criticizing others.
- Listen to understand the other person – don’t be defensive.
Work it out
We often feel angry when we disagree with someone or a problem seems unsolvable. There may not be a solution that fixes the problem to your complete satisfaction, but think of the best ways to deal with the situation positively.- Brainstorm solutions to the problem.
- Choose a solution that in some way improves the situation or benefits everyone.
- Compromise by applying the art of give and take.
Drop it
Just getting angry won’t make traffic go faster or your computer start working again. Calm down on the outside and the inside.
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Ask yourself, "Is it worth being this angry?"
- Control what you think. Instead of thinking, "This is awful," think, "This is not good, but this is not the end of the world."
- Forget about what you cannot change or control.
Often, our anger comes from unmet expectations or the belief that everything must always go our way. Things will not always go our way. Understanding this can help us be less annoyed.
I now know that I am not good at changing florescent light bulbs and that it will never go well. I feel better.
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